It’s Okay Not to be Okay
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. In honour of that I want to dedicate this post to my good pal anxiety.
Something I wish I was told very early on is that anxiety is okay but it is not to be ignored. It is to be understood, it is to be talked about, it is to be worked with.
Something I wish I was told very early on is that it is okay to not be okay.
In fact, it’s okay to not even know that you’re not okay.
So many mental health issues are normalised and pushed under the rug. Distraction and productivity and constantly being on the go are most peoples norms and because of this, it is hard for us to even have the awareness or capacity to recognise that we are struggling. It is easy to go into auto pilot and fall into mundane life and routines without a second thought.
When we allow ourselves to pause, be still, breath for a moment, we may be able to see what is underneath.
We think our anxiety comes up when we try to slow down, go inwards, make changes, but really it was there all along, it was only hidden by the busyness and the doing.
Oftentimes it is our anxieties, our fears, that are running the show. They are what cause us to do the things we do and live the way we live. We often will do anything to avoid facing the truth of how we are and get to the root of the issue. We often will do anything to avoid making the changes we need to in our lives. We think that if we are to change, step out of our comfort and safety zones or get rid of our “vices,” we won’t be okay. When often, it is exactly what we need to confront in order to be okay - possibly better than okay.
We are so terrified of feeling our anxiety, so keen on staying comfortable and in the known, that we make anxiety the enemy. We believe that if we feel any anxiety, something is wrong and we must seek safety immediately, returning back to what we think will keep us safe.
This makes sense. Our bodies are wired to think that fear and anxiety are signs that we are in danger. More often than not, that is not the case. Of course, there are times when our anxiety is truly trying to tell us we are in danger and we must seek safety immediately. We have to be able to know how to tell the difference and be honest and real with ourselves to know when this is the case or not.
Anxiety is here to tell us something, and it is very rarely telling us what we think it is. If making a change in your life brings you anxiety, it is important to get to the root of why, and not demonise the change simply because anxiety came up around it.
Instead of seeking safety, if possible, sit in the discomfort, at least for a moment. Step a foot into the unknown and see what comes up. Notice, observe, learn, understand… anxiety is here to teach us about ourselves.
Sometimes we know we want to make changes and yet our anxiety is so overwhelming that in that moment it does not feel possible to sit with it and move into the fear. Be kind to yourself, be gentle and soft and move slowly. Have the tools and resources around you to handle your anxiety with the care it needs. Do not push yourself past your edge. Take one small step forward and then allow yourself to rest, self sooth, find healthy coping mechanisms.
However, do not let the overwhelming anxiety stop you from moving forward in the direction of your fears. At the end of the day, anxiety is often a liar. What it is telling you to be afraid of is a ghost that will only return to haunt you until you shine the light on it.
Everyone deals with anxiety and/or mental health struggles to some degree throughout their lives. It is part of what makes us human. The stigma that our society has created around mental health issues needs to continue to be broken. It is not only okay to not be okay sometimes, it is normal. We all go through those periods. What is not normal, is accepting it is our normal or piling on distractions to cover it up. Love yourself through it. Talk about it with someone.
Instead of ignoring, pushing away, or numbing your anxiety, welcome it in to your life as a messenger.
Sit with your anxiety. Trust that it is safe to be still and present with it and not act or distract in order to numb or ignore.
When it all feels like too much remember that on the other side of your anxiety, is the capacity to express more of your magic.
