Next Chapter
Tomorrow, May 24th, I get on a plane and fly from the UK back to the US. This is my last blog post in the UK, for this chapter.
It feels surreal to say that I have completed my herbalism apprenticeship. My apprenticeship was originally supposed to last a year, but in my typical Manifesting Generator fashion, I realised I could and wanted to finish early, so I completed it in nine months instead.
I will be landing in New York and spending about ten days there with my parents. For those who don’t know, New York is where I was born and grew up until I went to college and my parents still live there. However, since 2019 I’ve only been back once, and that was for two days on thanksgiving last year.
It feels scary and exciting to go back. For awhile, going back to New York felt too overwhelming and destabilising for my recovery. I wasn’t ready yet. And although it still brings up a lot of anxiety in me, I do feel ready now.
Seeing friends and family I haven’t seen in a long time brings up a whole list of thoughts and feelings. I am grateful to feel like I have the grounding, tools and self-awareness to handle it all as it comes the best I can.
For so long my recovery felt tentative, rocky, like any sudden movements or soft whispers could throw it off it’s course. Although my recovery is far from perfect, I am finally at a place where I feel sure of and committed to my recovery.
My time in UK felt like a foundation year. It was my first extended stable period outside of treatment since I started recovery. I was rediscovering, redefining and recreating myself. I was laying the foundation for who I wanted to be. I was getting to know myself on the deepest layers I could. Going inward. Restrengthening my trust in my intuition and connection to the universe. Softening, slowing down. It was laying the foundation for all I want to be and do.
Now it is time for me to be out in the world. To take all that I have worked on, the roots I have deeply planted and strengthened, and share it.
My dreams lie in helping others. My biggest motivation for recovery is to be the person I want to be in the world and truly help people. To help others reconnect to their intuitions, to reconnect to themselves. To help others relearn how to love themselves.
My focus upon moving will be creating and building my business here at Intuitively Wild. That will contain Yoga Therapy, Herbalism, Human Design, writing and so much more, both in one-on-one and community gatherings settings. More on that to come.
After my ten days in New York my parents, Theo and I will be road tripping to my next destination… any guesses where I’m headed? This is where I will be calling home for the for-seeable future.
I have let my fears, insecurities and shame hold me back from pursuing my dreams and being out in the world for so long. I let my anxiety decide that I had already failed, everyone else was already farther along and better than me, that I wasn’t good enough or deserving of my dreams. I have now decided that I am worthy of my dreams, that my dreams are mine for a reason, and I am here because of my dreams. I am meant to live them out. Why not just try.
Thank you for being here on the journey. I hope that we can support and encourage each others dreams and magic.
