Adult Resources
We all have different ways of reacting to stress. We all have different coping mechanisms and different automatic responses to challenging situations. Most of these tendencies were adapted early on, from experiences we went through as children.
When we undergo challenging situations as children, we develop tendencies that serve as our protection shields. We have no other way of protecting ourselves when we are kids. These shields do the job we need them to do at that time when we are children and handling the situation in the best way we can.
However, without realising, we carry these same protection shields into our adult lives. This wounded presence within us (what some call our inner-child, or a part of us) does not realise that we no longer need this coping mechanism to protect us. It does not realise that we have gotten older and now have the ability to utilise new tools and resources.
Most of these tendencies are unhelpful to us as adults, oftentimes they are even harmful. They can cause us to turn to addictions, self-harm and self-sabotage. They can get in the way of deep relationships, self-confidence, and an inner sense of peace and wholeness.
They are often a way to numb and avoid feeling what has been within us since we were children.
And often, the only way out is through. Meaning: we can only fully heal by letting ourselves fully feel.
We can not think our way into healing. We can not force ourselves through sheer will to change our automatic responses. The trauma lives on in our body and continues to the run the show, whether we like or not - whether we notice it or not.
So we have to find an approachable way to begin letting these feelings in, in a way that is safe and grounded for us. For many, that means finding a support system that can help guide us along the path.
For so long, I numbed my emotions without even realising. I used my eating disorder as a survival mechanism. It worked … until it really didn’t. When I started to recover I began to feel my emotions for the first time in a very long time. There were moments when it felt overwhelming, as if these feelings would suffocate me. Now I know that these emotions are part of my superpower, and I’m grateful to be able to feel it all.
However, there were many times when these emotions made me want to turn back to maladaptive behaviours. I still have moments where my emotions feel like a wave about to take me under. So I turn to my tools.
I place a hand on my heart and remind myself I’m safe.
I let myself feel the emotion.
I get curious. I ask myself questions.
I reach out for support if and when I need to.
I journal.
I take an action if I need to.
I self sooth.
The more tools you have in your toolbox, the more of a safety net you have with you when things get hard. Tools such as the ones utilised in Yoga Therapy provide you with an inner-resource that you can always turn to. It is always within you.
The healing process can be long, daunting and confusing. When I feel my anxiety gripping on my chest feel paralysed or confused on how to move forward, I turn to my journal. It always seems to bring a sense of clarity, in one way or another.
Some journal prompts to get you started:
Where am I feeling this emotion in my body? What does it feel like? Does it have a shape, a colour, a texture?
Do I feel safe in my body right now? Do I feel safe in my environment right now? If no - what do I need to do right now to provide myself that sense of safety?
Is there a memory associated with this feeling?
What is this feeling trying to tell me?
Is there an action I need to take?
Can I just sit with this feeling a little longer?
Yoga Therapy has brought so many tools into my life. It’s reminded me a have a deep inner-resource I can always turn to. There are practices that can help you tune into and strengthen your own inner-resource… if you would like support with that, please reach out.
