13 Things I learned while living in England
It can be easy for us to move on from one chapter to the next without stopping, digesting and being with what has come before. This prevents us from fully processing it all. I love writing and reflecting throughout my life, especially after/during big transitions. Without this ritual, life just feels like a never ending ferris wheel and I forget all that has happened. In order to not become numb to life I have to slow down and acknowledge it. Some of the lessons we learn can only be understood with more distance and integration. Some can come immediately and are lost if not brought front of mind. This is my attempt to write down some of the biggest lessons that come to mind upon my first reflection of this last chapter.
Always prioritise yourself and your physical, mental and emotional health over everything and everyone else. Even if it’s uncomfortable, even if it ruffles feathers, even if its inconvenient, even if no one else understands, even if it upset others… do what is right for you.
People are going to disappoint you, it’s up to you how you respond to that.
Relationships are meant to be reciprocal. Find people who pour into you in the amount that you pour into them. Don’t settle for relationships that leave you feeling insecure, unsupported or icky. Don’t settle for relationships that leave you feeling drained, consistently let down, or not good enough. Your relationships should lift you up.
It is important to establish intentions, expectations and boundaries when entering into a working relationship with someone.
Sometimes your parents have good ideas. Sometimes your parents might have ideas you should listen to and trust. Sometimes they know what they are talking about… sometimes.
Allow yourself to be surprised by yourself. Allow yourself to grow out of old identities and step into new ones. Allow yourself to start new hobbies, listen to music you used to hate, start doing something you thought you never would.
Recovery is fucking hard, even when you’re doing “well.”
Learn to see, understand and accept all parts of yourself - regardless of whether you deem it as good or bad, regardless of whether it is something you want to change about yourself or not. When you can accept all of you, true growth, self love and healing can occur. When you accept all of you, no one can take that away from you.
Don’t take life so seriously. Let yourself have fun. Do the little things to make each moment more enjoyable - light a candle, put on music, make your favourite drink, take a dance break. Life is meant to be lived and it is meant to be enjoyed.
Open up to those who you trust. Lean on the relationships that make you feel alive, loved, seen, wanted. Look for the relationships in your life that build you up. Look for the good in your relationships and expand on it. Life is meant to be shared.
Every season has it’s lessons that it wants to share with you. Be open to them, don’t close yourself off from the world.
You are allowed to change your mind on decisions both big and small. It’s called growth.
No one else needs to understand you or your decisions as long as you are acting in integrity and alignment with what is best for you. You don’t need to be digestible, you don’t need to make sense, you don’t need to fit into a box or walk a paved path. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone… not even yourself. Trust your intuition.
