Secrets Promote Shame
I think we’re all keeping secrets. We’re all keeping secrets because our shame tells us that we need to. These are not the secrets we keep because they protect us or others or it truly feels good to us. We are keeping these secrets because we are ashamed of what it means if we tell the truth. We are worried what others will think of us, what we will think of ourselves. Sometimes acknowledging and sharing our truths means that we will have to admit that something needs to change. Breaking our own patterns is not only extremely challenging, it is also terrifying. Our patterns have kept us safe and in control for so long, but they might also be keeping us stuck. Other times our secrets are pieces of ourselves that we can’t face, that we have been taught are not ok and that we need to hide.
What would it feel like if we decided not to be embarrassed anymore? If we simply decided to own and accept our secrets as parts of ourselves. What if we decided we didn’t care what anyone thought of us? Or perhaps we decided that this isn’t a piece of ourselves to be ashamed of at all, we were simply taught to believe that it was. We get to decide for ourselves. What if we lived like that? What if we lived like we get to decide and own our story and our truth. What would that feel like? I think it would suffocate shame. I think it would help heal our connection to ourselves and others. Secrets keep us stuck. Secrets keep us sick. Secrets feed the shame. The truth sets us free. Owning your truth allows you to own your freedom. I want to be free. No one else can dictate how we feel about ourselves, only we can decide for ourselves. I choose to own who I am and to work on releasing my shame, shed light on my secrets and own my freedom.
This is a call to share something you’ve kept hidden from most, if not all, for a long time. This can look like sharing in a safe space with one person or announcing it loud and proud for all to hear. It is probably going to feel scary, vulnerable and uncomfortable. Acknowledging that and accepting it beforehand helps remind you that that is normal and that does not mean you shouldn’t do it. The more we practice authenticity and vulnerability the easier it gets.
Letting down our walls and sharing our secrets stops the shame spiral. It sheds light on all that our shame wanted to keep hidden in the dark.
