Notes on Reflecting
This time of year is famous for being the time to pause and reflect. The energy of the approaching new year brings with it the desire to go over our highs and lows, clear out the old and call in the new. However, this should not only apply to the big, more obvious moments that stick out to us on the surface. It is just as important to pause and reflect on the little moments - the ones that we tend to dismiss as insignificant or that we have forgotten about, but have stuck with us. The little moments deep within that we have yet to integrate.
There are so many times throughout the day when something happens that impacts us and we just push through it. At this point, most of us do it without realising. There are so many situations we have been trained not react to, we are told aren’t a big deal, or we simply do not have the time and space to process. Our nervous systems were not built to live this fast paced high consumption lifestyle. But we force ourselves to do so anyway, constantly needing to be “on” and moving forward.
Think about children: they can cry at the littlest thing that to us seems insignificant, and then often they are able to pick themselves up and move on like nothing happened. That is how our nervous system works. If only it were societally acceptable to maintain this way of processing emotions.
We do not stop to feel and let the emotions integrate. We do not realise how much we are impacted. This could be in response to the sad video online that we watched and then quickly moved on from, the news blaring on the tv, the homeless man we passed on the street… these moments can be big deals to us, and they can deeply impact us, but we move through life without reacting.
We never actually take space to sit with and process these day to day moments. But they stay in our body. When we don’t let something fully move through us, or even acknowledge that we were impacted, it grows within us. It sits, building tension and trauma and pain.
Just as important as it is to reflect on the past years’s big moments, it is important to reflect on those seemingly small moments: to sit and feel what your body has been holding for you.
You do not have to necessarily be specific with which moments you are processing. You probably have already consciously forgotten what most of them were. Perhaps try sitting with yourself and asking: is there an emotion that I need to feel? Is there anything leftover from this year that I need to process? You can do this in meditation, through journaling, in a conversation with a friend, on a walk… any space that feels safe and comfortable to you. Try asking the question and see what comes up.
ALSO, it is ok if you don’t want to reflect. It is ok if you are not in the space to process emotions or the year. If all you want is to get through the holidays, if all you can handle is getting through the day. It is also ok if you simply want to feel the joy, the love and have fun. Despite what it may seem like, you do not need to reflect or manifest for the new year. Listen to your intuition and what feels right for you.
