Productivity = Worth

What if I told you that it did not matter what you accomplished today, this month, this year? That it didn’t matter what you accomplished in your lifetime? That regardless of your productivity and achievements, your worth would not change. That your worth is innate.

If you’re anything like me, it feels a little hard to fully believe. I understand it on a basic level, and I believe it to be true for others, but in practice, it doesn’t always feel possible to apply to myself.

Most places in the world, it seems that productivity defines self-worth. Or, at the very least, adds to your worth. The more productive you are, the more worthy you are.

I often catch myself basing my worth on my productivity. If I did a certain amount that day or reached a certain result, only then can I feel satisfied, only then can I feel okay. Our productivity can be the basis from which we allow ourselves pleasure, rest, love, even food.

If productivity doesn’t resonate with you, this word can show up in many different forms and can bleed into different aspects of our lives.

Other ways this can show up is with popularity or love. I am only worthy if the right amount of people give me attention, if I get enough likes on social media or if I have a significant other giving me attention. Another way this can bleed into our life is with money. Money is a tricky one. Again, we are taught to believe that more is always better and the more we have, the more worthy we are. We all have a relationship with money. As with food, it is impossible to live life as a human on earth and not have a relationship with money. Unfortunately, as with food, most of our relationships with money are complicated and messy.

Whatever it is for you, we all tend to have limitations and qualifications for our worth.

If we are lucky (yes, lucky) enough to have these qualifications ripped out from underneath us, we can more clearly see the truth - that our worth exists separate from any limits, our worth is boundless. For example, if we go through a period without any external attention or validation, we are provided the opportunity to realise that our worth is not reliant on that. If we have a time when we are struggling with money, or even when we are provided with an abundance of money, we see that our worth does not change either way.

I know I have been provided, and am still continuing to be provided, with these opportunities to redefine my relationship with worth. I have had moments of rock bottom where I had to choose to see my worth without the “proof” that it was there. To choose to act like I was worthy of my love and respect even though I didn’t believe I had earned it. Working through this is still an ongoing process for me.

If we allow outside factors to dictate our worth, we are left empty. It becomes a never ending spiral to prove and work and hustle for our worthiness, only to realise, we will never reach the finish line. Because, like with many things, once we reach our end goal and what we believe will prove we are worthy, the bar is only set higher and the search begins again.

There are nuances to this concept. Of course, it feels good to be productive. It feels good to be rewarded for our actions. It feels good to do good. It feels good to have enough money to have the lifestyle and freedom we desire. And all of these things can add to the wonders of being human. But, these qualities do not add up to self-worth. Our worth is a separate entity that exists within us, no matter what.

When we can live from that space, from the belief that our worth is innate, we can then take actions from a centred and aligned place. When we can live with the knowing that we are already worthy, we no longer make choices with the need to prove our worth. We no longer wait to feel worthy. We no longer treat ourselves as unworthy of our own love.

Just the thought of that feels like freedom.

I no longer want my productivity to dictate whether I can or can’t feel good that day. Whether I deserve to rest, enjoy life, love myself.

I want to soften into the trust that I am always worthy.

What about you?