13 things from my 26th year
Today I turn 27. Here are 13 things I’ve learned this year.
Invest in your friendships - This was the year I really started to let my friends (new and old) into my life. I realised how much of a habit it had become to be there for my friends, but to never let them be their for me, to keep everyone at an arms distance and keep my heart closed. When I started to open myself up to my friends, when I started to be vulnerable, and soft, and let myself be seen, everything changed. The dark times felt less dark, the light times felt more vibrant. I started to prioritise investing time, energy and heart into my friendships. I started to realise how much more full, fun and survivable life is when you have friends who will be there for you no matter what.
Pour into people who pour into you - With the above lesson being learned, however, it is important to invest and dedicate yourself to the right relationships. I started to take stock of the relationships in my life that felt reciprocal and the ones that felt one sided. I noticed the people who left me feeling continuously disappointed, frustrated and empty. I noticed that ones that left me feeling seen, loved and full. I loosened my hold on the people who weren’t serving my life, and tightened my grip on those who showed up for me.
Be openhearted and boundried - This year I learned the importance of the balance between being openhearted and boundried, and the importance of having the two exist at the same time. I now walk around with my heart open, but my boundaries intact. This ensures I am open to connection, and the magic of the world around me, but I also maintain my don’t mess with me energy that ensures the right people and experiences are drawn to me.
Not everyone is going to understand you, that’s okay - I’ve always wanted to control how others see me, to ensure they see the parts of me that I want them to see. The more I embrace my full self, the more I let myself be my full self in the world and the more I let go of the idea that I can ever control others opinions of me. We all see the world through our skewed perceptions. We can’t control how anyone is going to view us and that is okay, it’s simply part of life. We can’t go around trying to explain ourselves, our decisions and our lives to others… some people will never understand. So we simply have to do what is right for us and trust that the people who need to will accept it.
Have non-negotiables in all areas of your life - This year I got really clear on what I want and need in all areas of my life, and I made the decision to never let go of these needs. When moving through life, I make sure I keep these non-negotiables front of mind. This has allowed me to stay confident in my decisions and ensure that all I’m letting into my life feels right for me. This has also allowed me to take care of myself and prioritise what I truly need to thrive.
Face your fears, chase your dreams - This year I took huge steps towards my dreams. Every step has required me to face my fears - like my biggest deepest core fears. At every point I am met with the question - do I face my fears or chase my dreams. I keep choosing my dreams.
Follow your intuition - This one may be self explanatory at this point - learn how to listen to your intuition and follow it, wildly.
Choose vulnerability and connection - It is too easy for me to shut myself off and close in on myself. This year has been a constant effort open myself up, to let people in, to be vulnerable. To be soft. This decision has never left me with regrets.
Always live with authenticity and integrity - 26 was the year I have embraced showing up as my full self in all situations more than ever. I’ve embraced being upfront and honest no matter what the situation or expectation. I’ve noticed when I feel the need to hide, people please or shape shift myself, it is usually out of insecurity and fear. So instead I choose to stay true to who I am, regardless of the outcome.
Feel your feelings fully, trust they will pass - I used to be afraid of my emotions because I felt like they were too much. Then, when I started to feel them more, I felt like they would never pass. This last year has been the time I’ve realised, my emotions come and go like waves. I’ve learned they never last forever, but they are not to be ignored. My ability to feel them deeply and work with them is a core part of who I am.
Allow yourself to be surprised by life, by others, by yourself - I used to be terrified of the unknown. I wanted to have everything planned, figured out, understood and controlled. The more I let go of the control and embrace the unknowns, the more I am pleasantly surprised by what fills that unknown space. I’ve learned that when I can embrace life in each moment, it is filled with magic that I never would have been open to otherwise.
Go to more concerts, dance more, sing more, laugh more - Basically, I’ve learned to embrace life. To allow myself to feel joy. To allow myself to not only be alive, but to FEEL alive. I’ve decided to live.
It’s okay to rest, it’s okay to not be where you thought you would be, it’s okay to have empty space, it’s okay to not always be productive - It has been easy for me to notice where I’m at right now and be disappointed and self critical. To compare it to where I want to be, where I think I should be… the never ending spiral… but pausing, zooming out and reflecting pushes me to see the full picture.
I spent most of my 26th year living abroad in the UK. I got to explore the country and travel to France and Italy. I completed my herbalism apprenticeship and my certification in human design. I opened up, got vulnerable, started my blog and my Instagram and shared my writing and more of my story. I moved back to the US, to North Carolina and started my business. I started my podcast. I connected with new friends and deepened my relationships with the people in my life.
And, most importantly, 26 was my first full year in recovery.
I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish any of this without my recovery.
When I’m able to zoom out and see where I’ve come from and what it took me to get here, I have a new perspective.
Recovery saved my life and the fact that on the first day of my 27th year I’m happy to be and feel alive, I know I’m right where Im meant to be.
If you want to learn more, you can listen to my podcast - on apple podcasts, spotify, or anywhere you look to listen to your podcasts.
