Tips for Hard Days
When the hard times hit - what do you turn to? Do you have the tools and capacity to work through these days without spiraling, resorting to old patterns or harmful behaviours? Do you feel confident that you can support yourself through low moments?
We all have coping mechanisms that we have developed to get us through, but are they really serving us?
I will be the first to admit that I used to handle my hard days in unhelpful ways. We do the best we can with what we have, know and can handle at the moment. I look back at the past version of myself with empathy and softness.
As I walked further into my healing and growth, I began to realise the urgency in which I had to shift my coping mechanisms. However, having this awareness does not innately lead to the ability to develop new ways of coping. We must learn the tools, and practice them relentlessly until they become our new normal.
I wish these types of tools were taught to us from a young age. I wish we were given the opportunity to learn how to cope, to learn what tools worked for us and how to utilise them in our harder moments. Since we are not taught this at a young, it is up to as to choose to develop healthy and healing coping mechanisms on our own.
When we are able to consciously create a new toolkit of support, we can approach our harder moments with more ease and confidence. When trust that we can get ourselves through on the harder days, these seasons of life feel a little less daunting.
So today I wanted to go through some tools from my toolkit that I turn to everyday.
This list is vast, there is something here for everyone. Whether you deal with anxiety, depression, overwhelm, fatigue, or are just a human existing in life… these tips are for you. I go through them in more detail in my podcast episode LINK HERE.
1. Have your non-negotiables. Learn from your past - what do you know no longer serves you? What do you know you need to hold onto, need to let go of, need to rely on… My non-negotiables revolve revolve around recovery - there are certain guidelines I have created with my treatment team that I know I must always stick to. Brainstorm what this could be for you - it could be a habit you’re working on breaking or creating,
2. Get in your ideal environment. I used to suggest everyone get out in nature, get low to the ground, find wide open spaces… and while I think nature is helpful for everyone, I’ve learned that actually everyone has a different environment that brings out their alignment and makes them feel grounded and at peace. This is laid out clearly in your human design chart, and you can start to observe what environment makes you feel your best.
3. Release. Energy needs to move through us to move on. Find what form of release works for you - talk to someone, cry, journal… let it out in some way.
4. Elongating Exhales. Breath-work has the power to rewire and reset our nervous system. When you elongate your exhales to twice the length of your inhales, you are telling your whole body that is safe to calm down. This sets you up to make grounded, wise-minded decisions.
5. Plants. Connecting with nature grounds us. Chemically and energetically. In the podcast I go through a couple of plants I believe can support anyone during hard moments. However, as always, finding what remedy works for you is individualised. It is most useful to feel into how a plant impacts you and your body. If you would like support with this discovery, please reach out.
The key is that you must practice these tools on the not bad days - that’s how the skill grows and is really effective when shit hits the fan. That way, this muscle is already strengthened, you know what to do and the resistance is lower, there’s a lower barrier of entry and a higher chance you will turn to these tools versus older ones. You want to make your new tools your familiar habits so that they replace the old as your go-to’s.
Put pen to paper and start to journal about what your tool kit may be.
If you need help customising this list for you and your needs, you can reach out to me here.
