Learning to Break Rules
I’m learning how to break rules. Rules imposed by others, and by myself.
When I first started practicing and studying yoga, there had been a focus on anatomy and alignment. This was both because I was interested in it (the perfectionist in me needed to be, well, perfect) and because my teachers emphasised it. Slowly, as I have gone further done my path in yoga personally and professionally, I have started to stray from honing in on perfect alignment.
My reconsideration of alignment is because “perfect” alignment looks different for everyone. Everyone’s anatomy, their body structure, needs… is different. Traditional alignment for yoga postures has not been updated to fit the needs of the diverse population it is now available to.
However, I do believe that knowing correct alignment and the traditional way to perform asanas is an important place to start. It is the foundation needed to be able to move forward. Once you know what the foundation of the pose is, you can get deeper. You can feel into how it sits with you, your body, and your needs. You can then ask yourself - is this “correct” alignment correct for me. Does this feel good for me.
Once you know the rules, and why the rules are there, you can question them; and that is when you can begin to break them.
This dynamic can be true in other areas of life as well.
For example, I find my anxiety likes to create a lot of rules. Without even realising it, my brain creates rigidity and routine around different aspects of my life and I find myself adhering to these structures, no questions asked. When I stop and think about it, though, these rules are often not serving me.
The question I’ve begun to ask myself is : Do my rules create freedom or do these rules rule me? When is it time to break up with my rules?
The first step in approaching this is understanding the rules. Just as with yoga, my anxiety put these rules in place for a reason. So I get curious and ask myself, what is the purpose of this rule? What is this rule trying to do for me? Is this purpose necessary? Is it helping me? Do I truly need this rule? When the rule has stemmed from anxiety, it is common to find that this rule is only adding to the power of your anxiety and is not truly helping you.
From this place of understanding, I begin to approach my rules.
My anxiety likes to tell me that these rules are crucial for my wellbeing and safety. Breaking up with them can feel scary. Knowing this, I attempt to stay gentle and soft with myself. What is a small step I can take today to break this rule? How does that make me feel? How do I need to take care of myself to remember I am ok, even as I begin to step outside of my comfort zone in this way?
Something I always come back to is looking at the bigger picture. Ultimately, will breaking this rule lead to more freedom and space in my life even if it does not feel that way right now? If the answer is yes, it is time to begin to break the rules.
Is there an area of your life where you find yourself following a lot of rules? You may find you are creating rules for yourself, or there are rules being placed upon you by society, a boss, a friend… Get curious and start to notice and even write down these rules. Ask yourself - do these rules create more freedom in my life or do these rules rule me?
Where can you begin to break the rules?
