On Being Seen
I don’t quite yet know how to fully use my voice. When I was younger and put on the spot to speak in front of a group I would often start to cry. Public speaking = worst nightmare. I still hate sharing any of my writings or speaking in front of a large group. I believed for so long that sharing myself in this way just wasn’t meant for me. I’m starting to realize, or admit to myself, that sharing my voice is actually something I want to do. It is something I have wanted to do for awhile and convincing myself otherwise comes from a place of fear and self judgment. Words are meaningful to me, they hold power and impact (words of affirmation is clearly my love language). I’ve always wanted to use my voice to connect and share. I think I’ve been so scared of saying the wrong thing, saying it in the wrong way, someone misinterpreting what I’m trying to say, someone judging what I say or how I say it or it not sounding good or right or beautiful, believing others know more, or could say it more eloquently, or…I could go on. So instead I’ve stayed quiet. I’ve let fear keep me small.
Admitting I’ve always wanted to write has been challenging for me because it puts me face to face with my fears.
I used to think I had to wait until I had the answers and advice and everything figured out to be a “healer” or share my thoughts, but I have more questions than answers now than ever before. I’m starting to realize that no one has it all figured out. I think most of us, at least at some points in our lives, are stumbling in the dark making it up as we go.
My mantra at the moment is - trust your joy. I’m really trying to lean in to that. It is so easy to trust our fears and allow ourselves to believe that’s our truths. So this is me stumbling in the dark trying to trust my joy and follow my truths.
Allowing ourselves to be seen and heard can be terrifying. Facing our fears in pursuit of our dreams can be a reckoning.
If you want some tools and tips on how to work on allowing yourself to be seen and heard perhaps some of these might help you as they have helped me:
sing! Even if you do this without anyone else around, it helps activate your throat chakra and put those muscles into use
Throat chakra meditations
Send voice notes instead of texts
Practice what you want to say to someone
Write a letter, even if you don’t send it
Share something with someone you trust that you’ve been wanting to say - this can be in a written form as well
Post that blog, instagram, podcast, write the story… do the thing you’ve been wanting to do, say the things you’ve been wanting to say.
I hope today we all take one step towards our goals despite the fear. Remember- no one fully has their shit together all of the time and every one is making it up as they go.
